Six Grievances with the Super Bowl
1. The few days leading up to the game are pure hell. Whoever is rolled in front of the camera gives his “analysis” on the game. In addition to being of zero value to all but the most hardcore gamblers this stuff is usually the same rehashed garbage the last guy was talking about. Due to the amount of people offering up their own opinion not only has every possible angle been covered, but also contradicted by some other idiot.
2. The commercials are not nearly as good as you think. Each year the commercials are always more talked about than the game. To be fair there is usually one or two good ones in the bunch, the rest not so much. Every commercial seems to involve a guy so dumb it’s amazing he can even open the beer he’s endorsing. By the way, how effective is it to be endorsing Doritos and Budweiser during the Superbowl? Not only is there a good chance people are using the product as the ad is going on but do we really still have to try so hard to sell beer to guys watching football? These commercials are little more than rehashed Laurel and Hardy bits trying to sell Pepsi. With such a wide audience the humor has to be incredibly broad and thus it becomes slapstick.
3. Superbowls are numbered for some reason. Instead of going by year like every other sporting event, Superbowls have numbers assigned to them. Then to add insult to injury they use Roman numerals, spawning the dumb guy to ask what those letters mean. The problem with this is if I asked you about Superbowl 22 you would have no idea when it was played. Unless of course you do the math to find out when that was, but then you’d be doing math.
4. The game could very well suck. Just because it’s the Superbowl doesn’t guarantee the game will be good. Unless your team is playing there’s a good chance you’ll be bored after the initial buzz wears off. Football is rarely four quarters of action pack edge of your seat excitement, the Superbowl is no exception. Add in the fact that a lot of people who watch the Superbowl don’t regularly watch football and you end up with a really boring party on your hands.
5. The two days following the Superbowl are even worse that the days leading up. Sports channels and other news stations replay clips of the game on a near constant loop. Why they do it is a complete mystery to me, everyone already saw the game. If you remotely were interested in the game you saw it. And the people who didn’t see the game didn’t watch for a reason: they don’t like football. No one who cares about the game is watching it via highlight. It’s not an Islander game we’re talking about, it’s the goddamn Superbowl.
6. Not really for football fans. The Superbowl is the biggest media event of the year that also happens to be a football game. Each year more and more distractions are added to take the emphasis off the actual game. There’s a halftime concert, commercials, and the party you attended to watch the game. The Superbowl is a football game in the same way a two dollar bill is currency. Technically it’s a football game but really it’s more of a football themed party.
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